"Be Excellent To Each Other."

The Luthier

2009-12-13T20:14:00.000-08:00

I play guitar.
It has been a passion and an escape for fifteen years and I could not imagine my life without rosewood, mahogany, cedar and spruce.

I think of guitars, especially my guitars, as works of art. Each piece begins as an aged tree that has watched the world shrink as its trunk has widened then bowed in humility as the cycle of our lives has run its course. Like us the tree peaks and falls. For many creatures, and much of creation, this is the end, but for the tree this is only the commencement of a great calling. This is the point when the luthier (guitar maker) seeks out the purest and highest quality wood to build his instruments. The artisan proceeds to cut out all of the rot and all of the decay to procure and salvage the best that the fallen tree has to offer. He begins with chainsaws and axes and ends with diamond-tipped saw blades and ultra-fine sand paper. He treats the wood as if it were never rotten or decayed. He treats it as if it were his prize.

Then he does something quite incredible.

He gives the wood a voice and makes it sing. He gives it new life. He makes the tree beautiful again. He becomes an artist.

Little Drummer Boy

2009-06-03T23:42:00.001-07:00

Tonight I saw something beautiful
Tonight I watched someone do what they were meant to.
I watched someone do the very thing that brings them the most joy.
A thing that makes me smile while watching.

I watched Freddy play drums.
Man, he played the drums.
He loved it.
I loved him loving it.

I am inspired.

Do something beautiful today.
Do something you were meant to do.
That thing that brings you the most joy.
That thing that makes the rest of us smile.

That very excellent thing.

Pa rum pa pum pum...

Mercy Air

2009-05-20T10:17:00.000-07:00

When I was in elementary school students used to play a game where two students faced each other, placed their hands palm to palm, interlocked their fingers, and imparted on a sadistic/masochistic game we used to call "Mercy". The goal of the game was to twist your opponents fingers, hands and wrists until they were unable to compete and would submit to you. When one of the combatants was in too much pain to continue they would cry out, "Mercy!" and the contest would end.

What a stupid game.
What a disgusting use of the word "mercy".
How this day has matured me.

My dad had a heart attack today.
Today sucks.

While my mom was driving him through the Laguna Moutains to a doctor's appointment in San Diego, a blood clot shot through his blood stream and lodged itself in a large vein inside his heart. Not good. His eyes rolled back, my mom panicked. By grace she was near a Border Patrol station and they first-responded. He was air-lifted as my sister and I waited at the emergency room. With my dad being sick I have grown accustomed to pretending to be calm.

I went for a walk while we were waiting for my dad to arrive by helicopter and my mom to arrive by Rav 4. I lost it. I slipped for just a moment. I let my opponent twist my wrist just enough to make me cry out. In a pathetic, wussy, whimper I mouthed, "mercy".

Our God is awesome. I don't care if you don't believe in Him. Your God is awesome.

I lifted my head as I heard the helicopter departing; I am always astonished by the immensity of the machines' blades. I wiped my eyes and nose with all the parts of my hands and wrists and looked longingly at the sleek-bodied vessel that I hoped and prayed had cradled my father's life to safety. Then He spoke.

"Mercy Air"

Painted on the side of a helicopter, but just as powerful as writing on a wall or a pillar of fire. He spoke to me. Just me...because He knew I needed it. Oh, how He loves us. Oh, how He sees past our childish versions of Him.

"King of Mercy dwell in my dad's heart, King of my dad's heart dwell in Mercy."

The Winter of Our Discontent

2009-02-17T12:13:00.001-08:00

"Money does not change the sickness, only the symptoms." -Steinbeck

On February 2nd an overweight groundhog was pulled out of a man-made tree stump.
He saw his shadow.
Six more weeks of winter.
This was aired on national television.

Somehow this has become "American".

I hold a sort of frustration with these simple foolish joys. I don't feel like they are necessarily wrong, but they are in no way especially "right". They seemed to be designed to consume our time, money, energy and attention. It works. Too easily we allow ourselves to be absorbed by unimportant things when the world is emphatically designed for items and instances of vitality.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about America and current situations we find ourselves in. The climate of our country is stormy (read my last post), but it seems as if there is something about the American experiment that seems yet to be completed. I can't help but feel like our nation is on the verge of a great modern-day renaissance. A return to core values of American culture such as dreaming, inventing, progressing, helping, and working in community seems imminent. I sense a return to important things. I am excited.

I am not ignorant, this season might be tough. We will have challenges with jobs and homes and money and stuff. Companies that have been staples of our commercial society will close their doors forever. People you care about deeply with be forced to move, change jobs or reevaluate their quality of life. We won't have as many silly celebrations like Groundhog Day. It will be different...and difficult.

But maybe some good comes of this.
Maybe more than ever before in our lives we realize something.
We realize something that has been true all along.
Something that has greater value than money and greater power than recession.

Maybe we realize that we need each other.

We NEED each other...it is the way we were designed.

Don't Let the Panic Bring You Down

2009-02-03T09:31:00.000-08:00

"An hour ago
I felt so low
I almost drowned
Driving around this messed up town"

I sat in my car this morning and listened to a beautiful song.
It was so beautiful I didn't turn my car off.
I didn't put it in neutral.
I didn't pull the parking brake.
I sat there...
in the parking lot outside my office,
with my foot on the clutch,
with my engine running,
and I listened.

I felt spoken to.
Not in a booming, thunder and lighting way, but in a simple gentle manner. More like Jesus than God, however heretical that sounds.

I, like many of you, have been very wary of the economic, religious and moral crises of the day. I have felt fear, frustration and sadness. I have been affected in career, ministry and family endeavors. I have fully come to terms with the fact that things suck really bad.

Yesterday I sat in a meeting about the financial status of the school I work at. The outlook is grim. They mentioned the possibility of a salary freeze. Non-essential positions are being terminated. We are trying to minimize utility bills. Our custodial staff is being "streamlined." I am teaching by candlelight...kidding.

Back to my car...

I was listening to Jon Foreman's song "Love Isn't Made."
It gave me hope.
And not the campaign sign kind of hope.
It gave me the kind of hope that makes you feel like you have taken hope for granted for far too long. The kind of hope that makes you smile when no one is around.

The chorus of the song is a repeated line that I encourage you all to read out loud a few times:

"Don't let the panic bring you down."
"Don't let the panic bring you down."
"Don't let the panic bring you down."

Times are tough. They are. But His love, grace, and hope are the strongest forces in the universe. Take a moment to find God in the mess and don't ever let the panic bring you down.

###

Electric Fences #2

2009-01-20T14:03:00.000-08:00

I am a pastor.

I don't think I have ever admitted that in this arena before. My apologies for this hesitation. I sometimes get scared about sharing this part of me. I worry that the "P" word will trigger a response or a reaction that is based only on connotations and not who I am. I guess I am coming out of the ministry closet.

I work with a small church in San Diego that is made up of all the wonderful things about "real" Christianity. There are circles of great friends, small groups of accountable counterparts and an environment of free and non-judgmental worship. I have really been blessed with a congregation and community that bless, engage and inspire me regularly.

I am their worship pastor. I lead them in song and sometimes deliver sermons. They have come to be my flock.

I have always like this metaphor. I think I like it because King David was a shepherd.

He was just a boy when Samuel came to anoint a new king. Like a Cinderella character he was overlooked when the high priest arrived, but when David walked in from tending the fields Samuel was struck. There was something about him that was right. There was something about him that made it obvious that he was to be the next king of the nation of God's people.

David has always been one of my biblical homeboys. It might be because he is my father's namesake and it could be that he is the author of so many of the psalms that have fed my ministry. I am not sure, but he has definitely been a man-crush.

David's life as a shepherd of sheep and a shepherd of a nation are not dissimilar. He proves himself to be imperfect (bathsheba), passionate (psalm 21), and wise (slingshot).

I want to be like that. I want to be humble enough to know that I blew it and smart enough to know how to make it better. I want to help other people do this too. I want to be a modern-day shepherd.

Electric Fences

2009-01-12T19:39:00.000-08:00

When I was a boy my grandfather had some sheep in a field behind my house. The sheep were mostly uninteresting, but the electric fence that kept them in was awesome. I saw a couple of them get shocked by it (usually because I lured them with food), but after a while none of them would come close to it. They wouldn't even eat the alfalfa that grew near it. I thought it was strange how they learned.

Isn't our situation similar? Aren't we easily lured near the fence? Don't we find our temptation a bit painful?

I wish we were more like the sheep. More easily trained by our Shepherd. More easily affected by His gentle pokes and prods...and occasional electric shocks.

Hope your week goes well.

Elizabeth

2008-12-15T08:47:00.000-08:00

It must have been terrible to be Mary.

She is young, maybe 12 or 14.
She is from a small town in the middle of nowhere.
Caesar Augustus has cloaked the empire in a cloud of fear.
She is betrothed to Joseph.
She is pregnant.
Her family is probably very poor.

She must have been afraid.

I can't imagine the humiliation that Mary and Joseph must have experienced. They were set to be married, but before they ever sleep together Mary becomes pregnant.

What must have gone through Joseph's head?
What did their families think?
What did the tabloids read?

Mary begins her Christmas story in turmoil, save one person. Elizabeth.

Elizabeth is Mary's cousin and has shared a divine experience with her. She has had miracles happen in her life and she believes the same may be possible for her younger family member. Amidst all the confusion and shame and disgrace, Elizabeth cares for Mary. She recognizes that Mary carries something inside of her that is far too important for her to be cast aside or uncared for.

I had a great conversation with a friend last night. He made me feel this same hopefulness. I felt like there may be a way for us to be excellent to each other no matter how bad our lives might look.

Maybe changing the world does not mean we have to be Jesus or Mary. Maybe changing the world means that we are supposed to be like Elizabeth. W are supposed to care for each other no matter what because we recognize that the thing we all carry inside of us is far too important to be cast aside or uncared for.

Love.

Leaving Through a Window

2008-10-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

How often we sneak out of life
We wait until no one is watching us
and then we make our move
Like waiting for a mom to drive away
before we walk away from our school
We search for opportunities to appoint
and disappoint ourselves
We flee from freedom into folly
and we act like it is the brave choice

We tread "into the wild"
like it is some romantic endeavor
It is crammed with pride
if we are honest

It is a vain attempt at heroism
We tread into the wild
but we keep an eye toward the city
because we want the world to see us leave
we want the world to think we're crazy
we want the world to want to follow
and we want the world to be too weak
to take the first step

We want to be better than the world

###

Monday Night Football

2008-09-23T13:45:00.001-07:00

"But oh, the agitated heart
Till Someone really finds us out." - Frost

Last night people came to my house.

We all gathered to cheer for a team we are not members of and for a game none of us play.
We all gathered and yelled and screamed and booed together.
We sat on couches and chairs and carpet.
We ate pizza and salad and some fancy stuff my wife made.
We talked about our jobs and the jobs we wished we had.
We talked about the economy and real estate.
We talked about the weather.
And We talked about whether we would always live here together.

People exchanged phone numbers and planned to "hang out."

Our team won.

A lot of good happened last night.

A Walk 9/16

2008-09-18T15:36:00.000-07:00

(Sitting on a red curb at the corner of Noyes and Reed)

I wonder how long I will live here?
In this beautiful city of friends and lies and distraction.
I really enjoy it, but I wonder if I will stay forever.

I went for a walk in Pacific Beach to find out what it was missing, but, instead, I realized that to intentionally search for shortcomings is an arrogant and failing endeavor. My focus should first be set on celebrating what they already have.

Tonight I sit on a line, tying the full September moon to the trickle of water from a fountain in the courtyard of the four-plex behind me. The streets are in bad shape, for America, and every once in a while a car turns a little too close to my toes. Generally, the crickets drown-out the hum of the distant automobiles and the only anti-rhythmic sound I hear is the occasional splash of a miss-calibrated sprinkler on the sidewalk.

I have passed beauty on this night. I went searching for gaps and I found bridges. Not strong bridges, but bridges that men have built on their own. With their own hands. With each other.

This is no small accomplishment.
This is praiseworthy.
This is good.
This is a start.

I found bridges built by men who desperately needed to cross a canyon and found a way, with each other, to make it.

It is beautiful.

I passed a house of young men sitting around a coffee table. Laughing and smoking like commentary over a soundtrack of rock music, clanking beer bottles, and rustling poker chips. Together.

I passed a candle-lit patio table. It illuminated the faces of an Irish family. Sipping wine and picking at the remnants of their dinner, they seem to have little more than the glowing faces that oppose them. They are together.

How do I celebrate this with them?
How do I comment on the valor of their bridge?
How do I introduce them to the Brilliant Engineer?
How do I reflect to them the great Architect of Our Hearts?

May they continue to need each other.
May they see the beauty in each others' faces.
May they find You in each other.
May they find You inside themselves.
Amen.

Your Help

2008-09-15T11:12:00.000-07:00

I am making an attempt to bring my blog into a more public setting and I would appreciate your feedback. Please let me know what posts you like or dislike and how you think this site could be better. Also, I have just added a subscription link on the right side of my site. If you enjoy the blog, please sign up. I can promise you won't get spam.

mike

Tough Day

2008-09-12T13:57:00.000-07:00

Today my colleagues and I found out that one of our old students lost her father.
He killed himself last night.

It has been a difficult day to be a teacher.

The student is still enrolled in the High Tech High Schools and she actually came to school today.
It is strange.
As I am typing I see her outside of my window.
She is sitting with friends.
Having lunch on some steps outside the school.
Kind of smiling.

Think of her today.
Pray for her.

faith.hope.Love

The Site of Disaster

2008-09-10T12:20:00.000-07:00

"Of eyes that vainly crave the light" - Whitman

I watch you from miles
we don't talk, but I listen
I feel you pull my arm
to where your harm has found you

The only thing that fixes life
is a Love collision
Where bad meets good
and people beat the lie
that everyone wants to go to Heaven,
but nobody wants to die.

We need to find
touchpoints for life
where perfection meets lacking
like Peter on a ceiling
so close that
we are eternally focused
forever living in the moment just before
climax
like the moment leading up to
a kiss
or the rising of hormones during intercourse.

It is sad how the anticipated moment
brings an end to anticipation
like there is an inevitable letdown

Don't we all want to be caught up
in "almost there"
Right before we open the gift
Right before she says I do
Right before our lips touch
Right before pleasure

Or maybe pleasure is not the arrival
Could it be the journey?
The understanding that good and maybe great
is about to happen

This may be God
A goal that forever eludes us, but
find our success in the struggle and toil of
trying to follow,
trying to reach,
trying to touch
and forever setting our eyes upon the prize.

###

Young Faces

2008-09-10T12:02:00.000-07:00

What is the load of importance in a young person's face?
Can they possibly see in all directions
as adults often believe they are capable of doing?
Do they hold any concern for the
peripheral world around them?
Or do they only repeat, or regurgitate, the sayings and/or moaning of
the oft-opined guardians of their young minds?

What is my job as a teacher?

Do I blandly let them dwell in their parents' ignorance?
Do I impose will and opinion of my own?
Or do I introduce the culture of thinking?
Do I beg them to listen only to their
personal perceptions and the personal
perceptions of others?

My Sickness

2008-09-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

Many of you have been concerned with my health over the last few weeks. Thank you. I can honestly say that this experience was the worst physical experience of my life. My friends and family made the pain much more endurable by showing up in areas of care, prayer and help. I have missed this blog and I think that I will be using it much more frequently now. If you are still reading it, thank you and please continue.

Mike

Diego

2008-04-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

My wife wants to name our son Diego.
We aren't even pregnant.

I have always thought that the name was a little weird.
But today I watched a young man hop onto a curb.

Only a slight deviation from his normal stride.
A stride that is short, humble, Mexican.
A walk that is poor, grateful, "illiterate".

Today I watched a young man hope onto a curb
and I felt a bit like a father
I think.

Proud.
Excited.

I saw a slight deviation from a normal stride
A difference that sung joy, simplicity, Uniqueness.
A hop that was adventure, adolescence, audacity.

Diego
I'll think about it.

Dream #22

2008-02-20T11:49:00.000-08:00

A couple of months ago I posted a list of some of my dreams. Each represented a part of myself that aches for growth, change, or attention of some other sort.

I am excited to share that Dream #22 has been accomplished!

I sat down at "our table" at a local establishment (same place I've been every Wed. for 8 months) and the waitress walked up and said, "Newcastle, turkey burger, pepper jack, extra mayo."

22. Walk into a restaurant and order "the usual"...Check.

Special thanks to Jamie the best waitress at PB Bar and Grill.

Long Walks on the Beach

2008-02-20T09:35:00.000-08:00

Let us run
Through beach-town streets
Where people talk and walk
but never really meet

Let us walk and run
Through a world
That needs only a thread-pull
to be undone

A world that begs for affirmation
and validation
A world that begs
for meaningful conversation
and aches and hates its own evasion
of the LOVE it stands right next to.

Leaving Comments

2008-02-15T17:51:00.000-08:00

A reminder for everyone who reads the blog (all three of you).
Please feel free to leave a comment for me.
I would appreciate the feedback, even if you don't like me.
More posts on the way!

Micah 6:8

2008-01-29T21:37:00.000-08:00

I read a book yesterday. I like books, but it is unusual to make a statement as large as that one. I read an entire book yesterday.

I have to explain to you that I don’t do this kind of thing very often. In fact, I can’t remember reading that much in one sitting since I had to in college. I was inspired. I was taken aback by the simplicity of the message I was receiving.

The book was A Life Well Lived, by Charles Swindoll. Swindoll is best know as the chancellor of the Dallas Theological Seminary, but proved to me to be an incredibly effective writer. His message was simple:

He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8)

As the body of Christ in our world we are called to be nothing more or less than these 3000-year-old words command.

Do justice not judgment
Love kindness
Walk humbly

My Wife Asleep

2008-01-25T11:50:00.000-08:00

Last night I came home late

I climbed our stairs
opened our bedroom door
and stared at the woman in my bed
stared at her

studied her

I looked at her face
really looked at it
I deduced the wrinkles in the the sheets
caused by her body
Reminisced about the life
that had brought me there
Felt new things for this
other person

Last night I came home late
and realized that my wife is beautiful
Not that I hadn't realized it before
but last night's beauty was new
was different

She didn't smile as she slept
her face made a shape that is beyond
the joy of a grin
It was a look of peaceful complexity
a look of Gentleness
Kindness
Love

A Love that includes me

Big Holes in the Arizona Desert

2008-01-24T11:25:00.000-08:00

Last summer I went to the Grand Canyon. My wife had never been and it was our anniversary, so we went. I remembered the Grand Canyon as being a very large hole in the ground. Nothing more. I remembered the long drive it took to get there and I remembered the anti-climactic sentiment every time my parents old van would pull up to the south rim.

I expected that this visit would be more of the same. Maybe my wife would like it. She is good about being enthusiastic.

We parked the car, I blindfolded her, and we approached a lookout point. When I took the blindfold off she was stunned. “OMG!” (Oh my gosh!) was all she could muster.

Watching her react to a scene that was little more than commonplace for me, opened my eyes to something. She renewed my vision of the “Grandness” of the canyon. The “new eyes” that she laid upon the expanse made my eyes want to be young and eager as well.

I hope this becomes our culture. I hope that we continually look upon God and His creation with “new eyes” that are eager and hungry.

Take some time over the next couple of days to give God a thank you. Look at some thing He has created and say “Wow.”

I hope that we have times when we are so struck by His greatness we can muster little more than an “OMG!”

Me as an Afterthought

2008-01-23T11:10:00.000-08:00

Are you scared that we might become afterthoughts?
Does it worry you that life is linear?
That we exist in a flurry of fleeting chances?

Chances that aren't often paired with tries.

Sometimes it is difficult for me to decide
which is moving faster
my life or its setting

New years come and go
some moments or seasons leave us satisfied
most leave us wanting

I hope that I don't miss you
any of you
I hope that you find me available
I hope I am not too late
a thought on time
not after the fact

Caring

2008-01-13T22:37:00.000-08:00

We can't choose caring
It just happens to us
traps us
Like an aunt that pinches cheeks
and smells like 1968

Caring sneaks
It peaks around corners and watches
waits
Caring hunts us
And catches us

When we least expect
It shows itself
Becomes us
Graces us

Watch the World

2008-01-11T09:25:00.000-08:00

I watch the world in intent young faces
staring at blank pages
and pages filled with hope, dreams, defeats

I see curly-haired frustration
with fingers raking through bangs
searching for the right words to say

There are yawners and doodlers
and those whose lives have yet to meet dilemma

There are dreamers and day dreamers
Children, adults, sages
They are a nation

They are meant for greatness
and it will find them

I hope I prepare them for it
I hope our time is sacred
I hope they stride past ordinary

I watch the world in intent young faces
I see passion in their eyes as they lift their heads
as if to grasp at a thought before it escapes

They are meant for greatness
and it will find them

I watch the world in your faces

There is a world in your faces
There is a world in your faces

###

Chace the Dream

2008-01-10T10:45:00.000-08:00

I miss you today.

And I am still a little mad at myself
for sharing your frustration
and not encouraging hope.

Things have not been different.

They may have worsened since your departure.
I think the frustrated ones
are what hold it together.

Your anger kept the world accountable
or, at least, worlds accountable.
And you and your damn noble frustration
inspired me.

How does the world make it without
voices like yours?
What does existence decide to do with you?

The more I have asked
and fought the answers I have been given,
the stronger my belief is
that I will see you again.

###

Gathering

2008-01-08T21:46:00.000-08:00

I know something
That you, too, know
And maybe you will admit it

We need each other

I need you
And you need me

I struggle and succeed
I fail and fulfill
And you do too

We should do life together
We have to

We need each other

I need you
And you need me

Path with a Hump in It

2008-01-01T19:28:00.000-08:00

Plain Hope

A level and balanced playing field
Fair

We cannot expect it to be anything else.
If we search, hopefully, we cannot expect anything.

Hope rolls on and on like path with a hump in it.
When you look down the path you can't see where it ends.
But it keeps your eyes up and straight forward.

Hope is always ahead.

Don't stop to search for it.
Do not drop your eyes.

It will not be found under a rock unless your life has taken you under a rock.
And it will not be found around any tree unless you have wandered.

Hope is always ahead.
Like a path with a hump in it.

###

Central Heating

2007-12-31T10:00:00.000-08:00

I have never sat still and listened
to a central heating unit whistle
before

I find myself very frustrated with
the device

My desire to sit in silence and
spend some time with my thoughts
seems to be of no consequence
to the howling vent across the room

Maybe the worst part is the lack
of pattern
Or the switching on and off as the
system obeys the thermostat

Or maybe the heater has no brain
and I shouldn't personify it

Grace in a Manger

2007-12-29T10:50:00.000-08:00

A baby came and saved the world.

I don't think I liked today

2007-12-18T17:07:00.000-08:00

It is odd to think of a day
on its own
To separate it from its friends
To ask it to be everything you want it to be
To ask it to serve and cater you

This today was less than good
This today almost seemed to egg me on
This day discouraged and disenchanted
I don't think I liked today

In Between

2007-12-12T19:21:00.000-08:00

I could stay here awhile
In between you and the world
I could fight both of your battles
and whisper each of your secrets into the other's ear

I could make a home here
In between you and the world
I could stand in translation
and turn my head back and forth

In this place
I could be busy, keep busy
I could listen
and watch

...

She

2007-12-10T13:59:00.000-08:00

She will save you.
Not for herself, but for what will come.
She doesn't have to sacrifice.
She is not like us.
Her existence is the dream of souls.
Her omniscience is fast-moving, ever-changing.
If you can't see her now, she will change.
She will find you.
She will hold your hand.
Squeeze back.

She is called hope.
And she runs to you
leaps to you
shouts for you.

She smiles at you
cries for you
reaches for you.

She asks for you
begs for you.

She needs you too.

Go to her.
Leave yourself and go to her.
Fall in Love with her.
Abandon all but her.
She has faith in you.
She Loves you.

Hope.

The Message

2007-12-06T11:11:00.001-08:00

This is a video that I made with some of my students. They really are amazing.

100

2007-12-05T11:20:00.001-08:00

I had to stop typing my last post because I remembered a promise that I made. I have always taken great pride in my "free-spirit" approach to life, but as I get older I have learned that all of my talents, passions and dreams will be all for not if they are not executed.

At some point I have to turn dreams into what I have always considered to be my arch nemesis

...GOALS.

So, I will be constructing a list.
100 goals/dreams/benchmarks for my life.
Hopefully you will be a part of it.
It will take time.
They will shift.
I will succeed.
I will fail.
You will follow along...I hope.

1. Marry "The" Girl
2. Have a Baby
3. Become a Teacher
4. Become a Worship Leader
5. Finish a Triathlon
6. Record an album of my music
7. Publish some collection of my thought
8. See the sun rise over the Atlantic and set over the Pacific on the same day
9. Teach a college class
10. Grow all of the food I eat for a week
11. Own a home
12. Inspire someone who does something very important
13. Meet one of my relatives in India
14. Finish my M.A. in education
15. Start my M.F.A.
16. Be humble enough to tell someone they are my mentor
17. Repair my guitar equipment
18. Fast
19. Take a vow of silence at a monastery
20. Organize a 24 hour worship service
21. Catch a foul ball
22. Walk into a restaurant and order "the usual" and get it.
23. Become the mentor of someone I have the opportunity to fire
24. Make a piece of furniture that is used regularly in my home
25. Complete a century ride
26. Attend a Padres world series game
27. One week of eating nothing but food from my garden
28. Give a child their first guitar
29. Eat some cornbread in Harlen, Kentucky

What I Should Be Proud Of

2007-12-05T11:10:00.000-08:00

I have a love-hate relationship with myself. I think.
It has to do with pride. It may destroy me.
I wish I could focus on the things that I should be proud of:

My wife, for reminding me of goodness and joy.
David, for carrying on in a life like the Kansas song.
Wes, for being smarter than me.
My students, for showing me who I used to be.
My parents, for carrying the burden of a town that no one has heard of.
Jesse, for his growth.
The people who call me a leader, for their patience and grace.
My sister, for proving me wrong.

...there will be more...

Urban Youth (from an e-mail)

2007-11-28T13:00:00.002-08:00

Hello All!

I just got off a plane from San Francisco and you have been on my mind. I
was in S.F. touring a new school that is trying to approach educating urban
youth in an innovative way. They are failing.

Speaking with students and teachers from the school I realized that they had
no idea that they were in as bad a situation as they were in. They couldn't
see that their "revolution" and "innovation" was stale and bland. They
weren't asking for help. They hadn't realized that the dream was over.

Sadly the Church is also full of these schools. Churches (small"c")
sprout up with missions and visions of revolutionary worship, fellowship
and community, but fall short of Christ's true message. These churches fail
to hold the great balance that healthy churches must attend to. They can't
be relevant and scriptural, trendy and God-breathed, or cool and
Christ-centered. Eventually they fall too far toward one side; they
sacrifice purpose for perception or forget to "meet them where they're at."

Southcoast will always be a church trying to balance this identity. To be
the "school" that is rigorous and fun. We will forever be tempted with the
ease of stagnation and the attractiveness of relativism and it is the call
of the leaders (us) of the church to model and encourage healthy growth
from within.

I think we are doing it.

I loved the time we got to spend together at Paul's house on Saturday and I
look forward to doing it again next quarter (January). It felt like the
church in Acts II "They broke bread in their homes and ate together with
glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the
people."

Authentic, accountable, friends, family.

This is how we are meant to be.

Body Parts

2007-11-28T10:25:00.000-08:00

I wish our eyes themselves could feel.
Or that we at least had better eyes.
Maybe eyes and hearts should trade places.
Eyes could take their places as the worriers of the self.
Staring at nothing but the individual.
Caring about little more than vital organs and pleasure-induced blood pressure.
And the heart could finally confront what it has cared so much about.
Its purity would be visible and its darkness would be revealed.
Instead of aching it could cry.
We would be blind to the weaknesses of external appearance.
We would be forced into vulnerability.
We would be better.

Neverending Story

2007-11-26T11:38:00.000-08:00

A writer never feels finished.
Maybe it is because our title is a described continuous service.
I wish I were a wrote.
Then I could be done.

Guests

2007-11-20T09:53:00.000-08:00

Please leave a footprint if you happen to cross this path.
Footprints are like fingerprints only they are larger and they get around.

Salutations

2007-11-16T12:44:00.000-08:00

We are, for some reason that escapes the passionate senses, afraid to know each other.
We are fine with meeting and greeting and "bumping into" one another, but we stand at arm's length. We never embrace.
And we complain that our community doesn't work.
Once-a-week meetings and common ground are not enough.
Family takes work.

Welcome home.

A Friend

2007-07-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

The ground.
I let him down without a rope.
Without hope of a gentle landing.
Without handing him a chance to be okay.
Without a sound.
We didn't speak.
We didn't let frustrations leak.
Until it peaked and we were caught in the overflow.
We'll come around.
Again we'll meet.
And mistreat and let mistreatment retreat.
And be brothers again.

Inspiration

2007-07-09T10:15:00.000-07:00

To be inspired is a terrible thing. Not terrible in the sense that it is a feeling that I would ever shy away from, but terrible in that it is demanding. Inspiration demands action. Action requires ability. Ability requires training. Training requires discipline. Darn it!

I am here to do something great. I am not sure what that "great" thing is, but I am going and I think you are all coming with me.